The title makes it sound like I’m admitting a painful, shameful secret, when I’ve been an out and proud Directioner since early 2012. Still using the title though, because it’s cool. Long-ass read, more under the cut. Keep reading →
Saw this red moon on April 30, 2013. It was big and hung low in the sky. Bit creepy, but I couldn’t resist pulling over to the side of the road and taking a picture.
I actually spotted this a couple of months ago. Made me laugh, but another one called Pandaysal Bakery was more hilarious because it features a guy dressed up as Panday. And look! They even have a Facebook page. You gotta love that.
So I’ve been seeing a bunch of stuff on relationships on my Facebook feed these days, and I’m so, so close to hiding a lot of people from my feed already. This one entitled “A Real Boyfriend” had me shaking my head, rolling my eyes, and immediately thinking of a response.
The version I saw goes like this:
A REAL BOYFRIEND
When she stares at your mouth
When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she
thinks shes stronger than you
Grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she’s quiet
Ask her whats wrong
When she ignores you
Give her your attention
When she pulls away
Pull her back
When you see her at her worst
Tell her she’s beautiful
When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she’s scared
When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up
When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand
When she grabs at your hands
Hold her’s and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does
When she says it’s over
she still wants you to be hers
When she reposts this bulletin, she wants you to read it
- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go
- When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Treat her like she’s all that matters to you
- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes
- When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her
- Let her know she’s important.
- Don’t talk about other girls around her
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is, “Whose ass am i kicking baby?”
And here is mine, after the jump:
The U.S. has yet to have a woman president and there is often talk about how the country doesn’t have enough women in power. Once upon a time, I would have scoffed and talked about how women politicians are nothing new here in the Philippines. Heck, we’ve had two women presidents already and a number of women in Congress and Senate. Surely that must mean we’re light years ahead, eh? Go, feminism, right?
Sure, it’s worth celebrating that we’re unfazed when women hold political office here. Yet it’s not perfect either. Women politicians have to be framed as good mothers and caregivers. Risa Hontiveros is billed as someone who will fight for you and take care of you. Nancy Binay is dubbed “nanay de pamilya.” And Cynthia Villar is not only playing up her marriage to Manny Villar through that campaign jingle which refers to her as “Misis Villar,” but her nickname/slogan is “Misis Hanepbuhay.” Then we also have Corazon Aquino, who was deemed free of any evil intentions because she’s a “housewife,” as if that term automatically means that your intentions are 100% pure.
There’s nothing wrong with being a mom, of course, and with being someone who’ll look after your interests and make sure that women and children 1 get sufficient rights, services, and protection. But it would be really something if women were presented based solely on their skills and experience, without painting us as sweet, loving people who will take care of you and can do no wrong. The latter perception caused people to be floored by the fact that Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo ran a shady government that was rife with corruption, her being a woman and everything. While it’s interesting that women are held to high standards, it’s unfair to expect us to be perfect and agreeable all the time.
One Friday during the second grade, Friday being the designated day for club activities in my elementary school, my classmates who were part of the Girl Scouts and the ones of the Boy Scouts were getting ready to head out for their meeting. For some reason, the teacher was piqued at the rowdy guys and demanded that they recite the Boy Scout oath. There was much mumbling and shuffling and headscratching. Irate, the teacher then asked the girls to recite the Star Scout promise 2, and the girls promptly complied, reciting in unison.
At a young age, girls are already expected to do everything perfectly and generally be “good girls.” Fuck-ups are generally expected of boys, and any misbehavior is dismissed as “boys being boys.” And thus, girls and women are roundly bashed when they step a toe out of line, whereas guys are not and also enjoy a heaping of praise when they do things well.
I’m not very crafty. I took up cross stitching for a few months in high school, and I know myself well enough to know that I would be bad at knitting and crocheting. I don’t have the imagination and creativity to make interesting little things out of whatever material is on hand. I did get kind of started on things by wrapping gifts last Christmas in recycled material and making my own gift bows, thanks to my evil twin, the queen of craft, who directed me to a post on how to make a gift bow from a magazine page. But really, the most I can do with my hands is draw.
Thanks to my evil twin and Macy, however, I’ve been quite intrigued by the whole papercutting thing. This activity is very alien to me, but I was interested enough to give it a shot the other night.
I suffered the whole time I was making this; working with a cutter is no easy task. Hence, I ended up with a lot of mess and jagged edges. Richelle recommended that I go for an X-Acto knife, and given her advice and a project with TJ that requires the use of one, I caved and got an X-Acto Gripster at National Bookstore yesterday (P255!). When I got home, I immediately got to work and produced this. 1
And I ended up doing these as well.
They’re still not perfect and they’re still pretty jagged, but I’ll achieve perfection in time. I’m quite happy I got started on this, though; it’s a relaxing hobby.
- Yeah, I know, I’m a sad fangirl. Also, Zayn Malik, you are a god. ↩
One of the articles on Jezebel today, “Why Can’t a Man Ever Tell a Woman the ‘Truth’ About How She Looks?“, makes me grateful that I’m in a relationship ruled by honesty. I do tend to ask TJ how I look in certain outfits not because I think I’m ugly and need validation that I’m not, but because I’m really not sure how I look, given the sorry absence of a full-length mirror at home. And he’s perfectly comfortable asking me how he looks, too. Neither of us is shy about saying if the other looks sloppy on a certain day, although we don’t really care if we do because there are days when we just don’t give a fuck about looking decent. It’s more about making sure we don’t look like ambulating bundles of rags. 1
The looks-related comments I 2 dislike are the unsolicited ones. I’m excluding comments from relatives here, because while I dislike such comments, they’re relatives, and they’re practically expected to say certain things about your appearance. I 3 have received a few comments from 1. guys I don’t really know that well and 2. guys I haven’t seen in a long time; I got back in touch with someone from elementary school and one of his first messages to me was, “You would look better with long hair,” which was weird because 1. he’s never even seen me with long hair to justifiably conclude that I look better with long hair, 2. he hasn’t seen me in years, and 3. it’s my hair and I’ll do what I want with it. In contrast, I didn’t feel particularly moved to comment on his looks.
It’s a practice that baffles me because I can’t imagine even making comments about someone’s looks out of the blue and suggest alternative looks if they didn’t ask for my opinion. I would attribute this to society trying to keep women in line and to men thinking that they have an indisputable say about women’s appearance, but it’s also likely to be due to a lack of manners or anything to say. After all, people’s appearance is the easiest thing to remark on if you don’t really know anything about you.
The eternal question. I’ve been hearing it a bit more frequently these days, particularly from my yoga classmates and older relatives, although one of my sisters tells me that our eldest sister has been asking that question about me and wondering why TJ hasn’t proposed even though we’ve been together for a while. It’s a question that’s basically been discussed to death in various blogs and even newspaper columns, with some people suggesting snarky responses. While the prescribed responses are usually very funny, I feel they’ll simply sail over the head of the questioner as such people are typically immune to sarcasm. Can’t stand to see good lines go to waste.
When I get asked that question, I already have the following stock answers prepared:
1. Sure, someday.
2. It’s not in our immediate plans.
3. Each of us is still in the process of pursuing our own financial goals.
4. We’re not yet ready for that.
5. We both have responsibilities that we need to prioritize.
From what I’ve seen, however, those answers aren’t enough because people will ask again five minutes later. I used to get really annoyed when the question comes up and people don’t seem to accept my answer. In my head, I’ll be thinking, “Oh my gods, shut up and leave me alone already. Can you people honestly say that your marriages are glorious and getting married made your lives better? No? Okay then. Stop trying to get me to join your club of marrieds because I don’t want in.” 1
And then I realized that the question is asked mainly because it’s very generic, something people choose to go with based on what they know about me: my age, the fact that I’m in a long-term relationship, and the fact that I’m female and presumably eager to initiate the child-having and -bearing process. If they really knew stuff about me and if we were interested in the same things, I imagine they would be asking me about those things. “Hey Lynn, how’s work? Any new projects?” “How’s your Dad’s health?” “Are you getting Heart of the Swarm when it comes out?” “Did you like Christopher Lee’s metal album and are you getting the new one?” “A store in MOA sells Bear Grylls knives!” “How’s your latest obsession?”
As it is, many people who ask me those questions know very little about me, and my interests are shared by only a few people I know, which is why others resort to “When are you getting married? Why aren’t you married yet?” followed by the “Don’t you want to have kids? You’re already 31, you don’t want to put it off for too long.” Hence, I resolve to be more patient and kinder the next time the same people ask me that question. And by more patient and kinder, I mean I will pick one of the six abovementioned responses, deliver it calmly, and resist the urge to shout, “Oh my gods, stop, I answered this question lots of times before, get some new ones.”
- Also, “Sure, I could get married tomorrow if you buy us a house, give us money to spend for the wedding, and set us up with a fund to kick off our married life. ↩
It’s been a week since we got back and I’m still feeling pretty happy about our trip. I cannot wait to go back. The only question now is when.
Anyway, the trip really was a good one. So here’s my version of the obligatory post-vacation pondering-about-life-myself-and-what-matters-most type of blog post in the form of stuff I learned while on holiday.
1. Traveling with your boyfriend without killing each other is possible. The most arguing we did involved me acting grouchy on our way back to our attempted hike to Pongas because my feet were killing me and the road went uphill. I also rolled my eyes at him while I was buying drinks at a store.
2. We have this tendency to see a path, wonder what’s ahead, then follow it. We usually ended up someplace nice.
3. I should bring sunscreen for my face next time. I will shake my fist at comments and laughter about how weird that would be because I’m going to a cold place anyway. While the weather was cool, the sun was blazing, and my face got sunburned.
4. Being laptop- and tablet-free is truly awesome. After only a day, my eyes didn’t feel strained and those annoying red veins became much less red.
5. I may be made for non-Manila living. This is still a hypothesis in progress.
6. Eating like crazy + walking all day = no weight gain.
7. Really learn about the place you’re visiting, and don’t just see the popular sights.
8. Some fellow travelers can be a wee bit strange, and you’re probably equally strange to them, too.
9. Take more of an interest in people.
10. This country can really dish out some glorious surprises and I don’t think I can ever get sick of it.
I should go on holiday more often.
We considered waiting along the road to catch either the GL or Lizardo bus going to Baguio, but we chose to walk to Longid Centrum in the town center to wait for the bus there. The walk promised to be cold and difficult because we were carrying our bags, so it was lucky that a jeep drove up and offered to drive us to the town center–and didn’t charge us a thing. Thank you, guy. We were taking the 7 a.m. trip, but we were at the town center by 6 a.m., so we got to see the town covered in fog and people getting their merchandise ready for market day.
The bus promptly left at 7 a.m. and took the Halsema Highway route. The entire ride was simply stunning thanks to the views of the Chico River, the fog in the mountains, and the various towns of Benguet. I particularly fell in love with Buguias and I hope to actually visit it someday. We also spotted a sign welcoming people to the Mummy Caves of Timbac, Benguet. I’m hoping to visit that place very soon. Pinoy Adventurista and Easy Traveler had awesome things to say about the place, and I’m using their posts as a guide for when the time comes for me to see the mummies. We also reached the highest point of the Philippine highway system; the portion of the highway was extremely foggy.
We arrived in Baguio around 12:30 p.m. and that’s when our nightmare started. Despite promoting itself as a tourist haven, Baguio’s not very friendly to newcomers in the sense that you wouldn’t know where to go right away after landing there. At the bus station, for example, it would have been nice if there were signs pointing visitors to the spot where they could get a taxi or a jeep. From the station, we crossed the street via the overpass then hailed a taxi to take us to the Victory Liner station, where we got tickets for the 3 p.m. trip to Manila. We then caught another taxi to take us to Sizzling Plate along Abanao Extension for lunch. We were back at the terminal by 2 p.m. and were on our way by 3 p.m. The bus stopped a couple of times, first in Rosales, Pangasinan and then in Tarlac City. Uneventful ride overall, but we had a blast watching the silly-as-hell Bait and actually enjoyed Mr. Popper’s Penguins; I still don’t know why.
I got home at 9:15 p.m. while TJ got home at 10 p.m. And that was the end of a very nice holiday, and I’m already wondering when we can go back up north.