The undulating guard
In the interest of saving two, maybe three teaspoonfuls of gasoline, I decided to walk home from yoga class today instead of taking the car. While entering my neighborhood, the security guard reacted with surprise upon seeing me and asked where my car was. I told him I preferred to walk today, to which he nodded understandingly, saying, “That’s right, walking’s much better for our bodies,” running his hands down his sides and undulating as he said it. Fortunately, I managed to squeak an agreement and keep myself from laughing out loud at the sight of him in his uniformed glory miming the shape of a fit and lean body.