Commitment

The five-year rule for relationships written by a certain Father Dacanay is once again making the rounds of my Facebook news feed. If you’ve never heard of or read it, it mainly implies that relationships have an expiration date, specifically five years. If you’re not married by then, you should either get cracking on getting married or break up.

I could shit all over that piece by providing anecdata about my own 10-year relationship. But instead, I’ll just say that that piece did such an awesome job of shitting all over long-term, committed relationships in which both parties fully trust and love each other, and declaring them useless and pointless because they aren’t validated by marriage. After all, marriage is the only thing in this world that ensures the eternal love and loyalty of the involved parties, and it’s the only way to prove your love and commitment, because married people never ever ever ever hurt each other emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Married people never ever ever ever cheat on one another. And they’re the only ones who know the value of true love, right? Eh? Eh?! *elbow elbow*

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Seriously now. It was laughable when it first came out, and it remains laughable to this day. It’s archaic at best and dangerous at worst, because it puts a deadline on people’s actions as well as such unbelievable pressure on relationships. People who read it and believe its message will be apt to worry that their long-term relationships are worthless if a ring is not involved at some point, never mind if their relationships are actually going pretty well. It also perpetuates the idea that marriage is the ultimate form of commitment, never mind that unmarried couples who have been together for a long time are actually actively choosing to stay together without having a piece of paper that decrees their commitment.

If you’re freaked out by a priest’s statements about your relationship, about which he has no personal knowledge, then that only means you need to take a good, long, hard look at yourself and determine where your spinelessness comes from.

August 06, 2013 by Lynn
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