In recent weeks, people have grown angry and impatient with the government’s apparently shoddy handling of relief efforts for the victims of Typhoon Yolanda. Various officials and departments, including DSWD, are being given the finger all over the place. To my shock and amusement, an old post I reblogged from someone else way back in 2009 is now getting thousands of hits. Would be nice if people actually checked when I posted it, though, before asking why old issues are being dredged up. But then again, it’s disturbing that old issues are still relevant years later.
The five-year rule for relationships written by a certain Father Dacanay is once again making the rounds of my Facebook news feed. If you’ve never heard of or read it, it mainly implies that relationships have an expiration date, specifically five years. If you’re not married by then, you should either get cracking on getting married or break up.
I could shit all over that piece by providing anecdata about my own 10-year relationship. But instead, I’ll just say that that piece did such an awesome job of shitting all over long-term, committed relationships in which both parties fully trust and love each other, and declaring them useless and pointless because they aren’t validated by marriage. After all, marriage is the only thing in this world that ensures the eternal love and loyalty of the involved parties, and it’s the only way to prove your love and commitment, because married people never ever ever ever hurt each other emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Married people never ever ever ever cheat on one another. And they’re the only ones who know the value of true love, right? Eh? Eh?! *elbow elbow*
Seriously now. It was laughable when it first came out, and it remains laughable to this day. It’s archaic at best and dangerous at worst, because it puts a deadline on people’s actions as well as such unbelievable pressure on relationships. People who read it and believe its message will be apt to worry that their long-term relationships are worthless if a ring is not involved at some point, never mind if their relationships are actually going pretty well. It also perpetuates the idea that marriage is the ultimate form of commitment, never mind that unmarried couples who have been together for a long time are actually actively choosing to stay together without having a piece of paper that decrees their commitment.
If you’re freaked out by a priest’s statements about your relationship, about which he has no personal knowledge, then that only means you need to take a good, long, hard look at yourself and determine where your spinelessness comes from.
According to the website of the Philippine Tourism Board, which was established “to educate tourists and visitors about the country’s tourist spots, culture, people, food, weather, languages, and more”:
Even more, Philippines is said by foreigners to have the most beautiful women in all of Asia.
For the love of God, will you stop pimping Filipina women to foreigners? It’s bad enough that they think we’re perfect wives because we’re submissive and caring and loving and shit like that. We don’t need our fellow countrymen urging foreigners to check out the local women. This is godsdamned pimping. A country should rely on its excellent services, facilities, transportation, and amazing sights to draw in visitors, not on the beauty of its women, for fuck’s sake.
In light of my boyfriend’s accident caused by a drunk driver and the succeeding frustration over trying to figure out how to make sure that the drunk driver takes responsibility for his actions, I’ve realized that trying to follow the correct processes and rules in this country is completely useless. Here are a few instances why following rules will just end up with you getting left behind.
Staying in your lane while driving. For one thing, the painted lines that indicate lanes seem to shift with every road segment, forcing you to adapt accordingly. For another thing, staying on your lane means that eventually you will be forced out of it by another vehicle that is swiftly moving into yours.
Using your turn signal to switch lanes or turn a corner. Vehicles behind you will just speed up when they see your turn signal is switched on so they can get ahead of you.
Falling in line correctly. You could fall in line to buy bus tickets or movie tickets and keep a respectful distance between you and the person ahead of you, or you could be standing behind a “Wait here” line. But someone will just march up to the counter and end up being served ahead of you.
Stopping at a “No right turn on red” sign. Doing so will make the other drivers behind you mad. They’ll either start honking angrily or overtake you so they can turn–and enforcers won’t pull them over.
Remaining at the scene of an accident. Rather than trying to make everything right and make it up to the affected party, there are those who just choose to flee the scene and pretend it all never happened.
Reporting an incident/accident. No one will be able to help you anyway because your report is useless without the other party’s information, even though you didn’t get this information because the other party already ran off.
I’m definitely not saying we should stop following rules from now on. It’s just frustrating that you try to do the right thing, but everyone else isn’t–and still get away with it.
And so do drunk drivers and people with no sense of personal responsibility. I wish I could come up with a mature title for this post.
Anyway, this is the drunk driver who was driving a red 1999 Mitsubishi Adventure with plate number WJA 662 who hit my boyfriend’s vehicle from behind last night. This took place in Fairview. My boyfriend was stopped at a red light when the Adventure hit him from behind. He and his sister tried talking to the driver, but the driver couldn’t be reasoned with as he was too drunk to respond properly. By way of a response, however, he even tried to run over my boyfriend.
My boyfriend and his sister then went to the nearest police station to report the incident, but was told that they could do nothing about it.
Today, I called the LTO to ask about possible steps that can be taken. A woman answered the phone and upon hearing my question, she told me to file a police report. Then she excused herself to chat with other people; I could hear her laughing on the other line. I still had a few questions so I was relieved when she came back. “File a police report,” she repeated. I was still in the middle of my question when she suddenly hung up on me.
I realize there’s little else that can be done about the situation, given that the driver was uncooperative and incoherent. The annoying part here is that there’s supposed be a process during such accidents. You’re supposed to stay in your car and wait for help, or take pictures of the accident. The police is supposed to come to assess the situation and generally handle the incident. Reports are then filed, followed by any cases you want to pursue. But what are you supposed to do if you can’t get anything out of the other party or if the other party opted to flee the scene?
You’re stuck with no other options other than to bleat angrily about what happened and be thankful that you’re safe. Meanwhile, the drunk driver gets off without even a slap on the wrist because no one in charge can do anything without the report that you couldn’t file because the other party was uncooperative. Even worse is that you can do your best to seek help from the authorities and find them just as powerless 1 as you are.
It reminds me of my own vehicular accident last year, when the driver who hit my vehicle took off and said he was getting his boss to take care of the incident; I had been too dazed to stop him. When he came back, he brought another guy with him and pretended that the latter had been driving his vehicle. I snapped out of it and declared vehemently who the real driver was. It was good that the matter was successfully settled, but that’s because it happened in broad daylight in front of a shopping mall. What about the incidents that take place in the middle of the night with no authorities in sight?
- Or they’re just plain uninterested. ↩
So this picture of Isabelle Daza and Georgina Wilson kissing in support of gay rights is making the rounds of the Internet today. I can predict what people are saying about it, and don’t care to post them here. Instead, I will direct you to Rappler.
I strongly support gay rights, and I applaud fellow supporters. However, I feel that this particular effort is misguided. I get that they are trying to show that there is absolutely nothing wrong with homosexual relationships. No one is going to miss that message. The problem I see here, however, is that neither woman is homosexual.
The boyfriend of a friend of mine asked me if I would find it problematic if interracial people were shown kissing in a picture even though they’re not in a relationship. Of course I wouldn’t. They are representing the fact of interracial relationships and are, in fact, interracial. Daza and Wilson’s photograph is of two heterosexual women kissing, pretending to be homosexual, and is clearly geared to generate controversy. Of course, the issue of homosexuality is always controversial here in the Philippines, but whether this was their intention or not, this also seems engineered to feed the male fantasy of seeing women together in romantic or sexual situations. Even though normalizing homosexual relationships may have been the goal of this picture, it appears to aim to do so by making people think that, “Hey yeah, this does look hot,” and I don’t think homosexuals are seeking that kind of validation from heterosexuals. In addition, appropriation of homosexuality by heterosexuals is never a good thing; just think back on Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl.”
Some people have also commented on the incestuous aspect of the picture, given that Daza and Wilson are cousins. Others have told the former to lighten up, they’re just kissing, don’t you kiss your relatives? I’d have to agree with the critics, however. This kiss suggests passion, perhaps even mild lust. If you were to kiss your relatives, you most certainly would not be kissing them in that manner–partially open mouth, half-closed eyes do not suggest a wholesome peck.
Overall, I’ll say that Daza and Wilson had good intentions. If there’s something that this picture can accomplish, it’s to make people rethink their ideas of what a lesbian looks like, as many of us remain trapped in the idea that lesbians generally want to look like men. But people don’t really need to pretend to be gay to support gay rights. 1
I was suddenly put in mind of my admiration for the new GMA 7 soap opera, My Husband’s Lover, which is the story of a woman whose husband is gay and is having a relationship with his best friend. Is that, therefore, also appropriation of homosexuality? I could say yes, but then again, this is acting for an actual story. In addition, it might be the best thing we could hope for at present, because Philippine showbiz lacks gay actors who are considered bankable leads and can be considered to fit the traditionally “male hetero” or cis male look; Vice Ganda does not count despite his slew of hit movies and concerts because he has adopted traditionally feminine looks. Now if we have any out gay actors who could have been considered for the roles of Eric and Vincent but were not, then we have a problem. Philippine showbiz and culture in general still has a hard time digesting the fact that not all gay people look as we have been conditioned to expect them to look.
- I welcome comments from any member of the LGBT community. Please let me know if I’m overreacting and if I’m just getting overly offended in your behalf. ↩
When you don’t want to reply in the e-mail thread you’re in because someone already said what you wanted to say, because you’re worried your comment would be completely unoriginal, because it’s like the other people are already having a conversation and you don’t want to interrupt, or because you’re worried no one will acknowledge what you just wrote.
The title makes it sound like I’m admitting a painful, shameful secret, when I’ve been an out and proud Directioner since early 2012. Still using the title though, because it’s cool. Long-ass read, more under the cut. Read on →
Saw this red moon on April 30, 2013. It was big and hung low in the sky. Bit creepy, but I couldn’t resist pulling over to the side of the road and taking a picture.
I actually spotted this a couple of months ago. Made me laugh, but another one called Pandaysal Bakery was more hilarious because it features a guy dressed up as Panday. And look! They even have a Facebook page. You gotta love that.